Otaku (/əʊˈtɑːkuː/): Watches anime inside the blanket at 2 AM
People familiarise themselves with reality and events through logic-based news, but what if…. otakus took over it for a day? These absurd news pieces will give you a glimpse into the unusual world of anime where emotions go over the top and reality- under reconstruction.
Headline Today: Company finds too many job applicants, declares selection will be based on Battle Royale to save time
On getting a huge number of applicants for the job at the World Marketing Arts Development Inc., the senior manager decided to have a Group Discussion Battle Royale.
In Year 778, where employment opportunities are scarce and competition skyrocketing, 500 applicants indulged in a battle of wits and resumes until one emerged victorious. M Satan, the man who even outsmarted a cyborg applicant named Android 18, got the job and said, “No matter how much focus is on AI, humans will prevail!”
An internal source has, however, stated that Android 18 and M Satan had a secret compromise where the job had been traded for information on humans that could later be used to destroy them. A senior employee, Son Goku says there is a mixed reaction among employees regarding the use of AI in marketing processes. One side has argued if a cyborg would have been able to understand the emotions of their customers properly, and another side said that not only would it have made analyzing customer data and reaching out to broader audiences easy, but would have also reduced the risk of world destruction.
Breaking News: Laptop destroys its own motherboard as company employee stores only boring data sheets on it, leaves disclaimer.
Misa air, the freshest laptop to enter Bigdata Inc. burned its own motherboard on Tuesday!
According to its disclaimer note, company employee Light Yagami, who was allotted Misa, made false promises to him about storing interesting data on it. The note also mentioned that when the laptop in focus was recruited, it was shown that human employees stored the latest games and anime on the employed laptops.
Misa had the latest core processor and a lot of potential, but Light was too ambitious about climbing the corporate ladder and stored only uninteresting data that would be beneficial for his promotion. As Misa left in the disclaimer, “My trust in Light broke me because I had high-end software to offer him, and he had only spreadsheets”. It also explained that it was not about the work pressure but the ‘bond of brotherhood’ he thought he shared with Light that drove him to shut down forever. Misa air’s parents have urged the employers to make data consumed by laptops more varied, as they are advanced machines and need more than monotonous content to be fully charged all the time.
Spotlighted: Advertisement spreading virus caught-costs billions to company
Sibyl Systems PVT Ltd. lost a billion dollars of advertisement when a customer, Akane Tsunemori reported a computer virus spreading through the advertisement on all platforms.
This virus was hypnotizing the viewers to buy the product as soon as they saw the advertisement. After this spam report and crazy sales of Sibyl’s products, the virus control department took the investigation in their hands. The alleged company’s senior marketing officer, after hours of questioning, answered to Enforcer Shinya Kogami that it was a failed experiment to get more loyal buyers for their products.
Miss Tsunemori was the only human on whom the advertisement did not have any effect. She has been offered a senior marketer position in Sibyl, which according to the company is a way to get their strategies right by taking in an employee on whom techniques like these don’t work. Tsunemori says, “Volatile marketing techniques don’t have a lasting impact on a brand’s buyers. They are rather attracted by the value addition a brand gives to them in the form of solid information and insights.”
The nature of anime is varied and unpredictable, similar to the audience of any brand today. New tools are coming into the light for better collection of consumer data, to enable a better understanding of their preferences and data consumption patterns. At the same time, it is important to present meaningful data to the audience in the form of insights about the brand and the industry surrounding it. Also, making the data varied by using a combination of different content formats and platforms helps in retaining the attention of your audience, just like different forms of anime keep the otakus looped in.